Top 10 Things Every Spammer Should Know

by

Canned spam

  1. 99% of the people on the planet want to kick your ass.
  2. Seriously.
  3. Learn about ROI. Sure, you hack other people’s networks to send spam and it doesn’t cost you any real cash to send emails and blog comments again and again to places where there is no return on your investment. But it costs you a lot in visibility. And that visibilty and constant annoyance is part of an illegal activity that’s the basis of all your income. So, I can understand that you may be a real risk taker, but taking risks where there is no reward is just plain stupid. Rewardless spamming is visibility you don’t need. It’s visibilty that puts your freedom and your livelihood in jeopardy. It’s a bad return on investment.
  4. There’s more you need to know. Just work on the first 3 for now.
  5. There’s more you need to know. Just work on the first 3 for now.
  6. There’s more you need to know. Just work on the first 3 for now.
  7. There’s more you need to know. Just work on the first 3 for now.
  8. There’s more you need to know. Just work on the first 3 for now.
  9. There’s more you need to know. Just work on the first 3 for now.
  10. There’s more you need to know. Just work on the first 3 for now.

And p.s. … I don’t need any Viagra.

But thanks for your concern.

13 thoughts on “Top 10 Things Every Spammer Should Know”

  1. Hey, Shane,

    The fact that you did this post was cathartic at this end–and I’m sure that’s true for a lot of others, too.

    I’m ticked off because I had to turn my blog’s CAPCHA feature back on. That’s one more piece of unnecessary work that readers have to do to join the conversation. But I got tired of having to check spam comments every 5 minutes and delete them.

    My favorite: “Long-legged woman has Viagra for you.”

    At least the visual was appealing.

  4. Steve,
    haha – I never got that one. Feel kinda left out!

    Thanks Robin!
    Glad you liked it.

    Hey BigPappa,
    I just don’t get it. Obviously there are people buying whatever they’re selling. And I know there’s no to little cost in spamming absolutely everybody, but like I said, visibility costs. It’s the old “heat-magnet” effect. We’ve all heard very true stories in the press about organized gangs getting rid of people who are heat magnets. It’s just bad for business. It’s the same thing here.

  5. Haha! It actually took me a while to catch on that the rest of the list was the same… 😀 I HATE spam too! Somehow…spam seems to find its way to my emails that I never use to sign up for anything :-\ Damn spammers!

  6. Spamming will be around for as long as people buy from them – they wouldn’t do it if they didn’t make money.

    I dread the day spammers learn the answer to those tough anti-spam questions such as ‘What is 1+1?’ – then we are all doomed! 😉

    – Martin Reed

  9. Hey Gregg,

    I think some email addresses are sold by the people entrusted with them. If not by the companies, then by people working for them … I figured the only way to get the point across to spammers was to speak a language they understand 😀

    Martin,

    Very true. If it didn’t work, people wouldn’t do it. I just think they could be a lot smarter about it and save the rest of us the hassle.

    haha – Nice one Anthony,

    That comment made my day. I was laughing as soon as I saw that.

    Hey Robin,

    Everything’s good. Been a bit under the weather and a bit busy. Thanks for asking.

  10. A little aggravated? lol, I find the constant barrage of Viagra and various other spam emails extremely annoying. Just like you said… 99%.

    Of course the food spam is a good thing. A nice fried spam sandwich… mmmm.

  11. Hey Jonathan,

    Haha – Man, I can’t stand spam … digital or canned! But at least you’re not hurting anyone else with the canned stuff!! 😀

  12. Shane, seems like you have been getting a hard time of it lately, glad you got it off your chest, da b’stards! 😉

    They drive me nuts too, senseless freakazoids!

  13. Hey Rob,

    It just floors me how many blogspot blogs with “viagra” in the title are sending comment spam … does Google even care?

    I was happy after the high profile spammer arrests a while ago. Spam went way down. Now it’s back up to normal … time to throw a few more people in jail 😀

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